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Dad Of Dumb (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Dad Of Dumb (May 18, 2018) - Synopsis Patrick recounts a memory of when he & his Dad did something very fun but also stupid. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Gary The Snail Squidward Tentacles Patrick Star Herb Star (flashback) Squidward Tentacles with hair (flashback) The Story The story begins with Spongebob walking Gary to Patrick's rock. However, he decides to check up on somebody near and dear to him. SPONGEBOB: SQUIDWARD!!! Squidward opens one of his round front windows and is not in a good mood. SQUIDWARD: Get off my lawn Spongebob! I am exceptionally grumpy today! SPONGEBOB: Why? What's the matter? SQUIDWARD: My clarinet recital was cancelled because, of inclement weather! Spongebob looks at the clear blue sky. SPONGEBOB: But it's sunny. SQUIDWARD: Yeah! I am aware of that! They used it as an excuse so I wouldn’t show up! Those barnacleheads! SPONGEBOB: Well if it makes you feel any better, do you want me to give you a tentacle massage? SQUIDWARD: Why sure! SPONGEBOB: Really?! Squidward grabs out a megaphone and screams into it. SQUIDWARD: NOOOOOO!!!!! Spongebob loses his hearing for a couple of seconds before getting it back. Squidward then puts his megaphone down and notices Gary. SQUIDWARD: And get your stupid snail off my property as well! HE’S EATING MY EGGPLANTS! Gary munches on Squidward's eggplants and smirks in the process. SPONGEBOB: Well bye Squidward! Gary & I gotta head to Patrick's. GARY: Meow The two leave while Squidward angrily shuts his window. Spongebob & Gary arrive at Patrick's and enter. SPONGEBOB: Hey Patrick! Are you ready to go jellyfishing?! Patrick instead sits on his green chair. PATRICK: Oh I would Spongebob. But I just remembered something so great to me that I need to recount on it! SPONGEBOB: Splendid! What is it? PATRICK: What's it? SPONGEBOB: The memory. PATRICK: Oh right! I just remembered that I left the TV remote under my couch! Patrick finds & reclaims his remote. PATRICK: I missed you! He also weirdly kisses it. SPONGEBOB: Okay well um… is that it? PATRICK: Well I was also thinking about the time by Dad & I did something stupid but hilarious! SPONGEBOB: Oh please tell me! Story time! Story time! Do you want to hear Gary? GARY(shaking a nope): Meow Gary slithers out of the rock. SPONGEBOB: Anyways, please tell me Patrick! PATRICK: Well I suppose! If you pay me ransom! SPONGEBOB: Patrick, you don’t need ransom. PATRICK: Oh right. Patrick dims his lamp and begins. PATRICK: It was 1994. Flashback to 1994. Patrick is 8 years old and lives at the same rock he inhabits to this day. PATRICK: I was playing with my red ball outside. I had just finished a session on the scooter! SPONGEBOB: Patrick, you had a skateboard. PATRICK: Same thing! Anyways, I was playing when my Dad came outside. HERB: Hey son! Do you want to go see Uncle Squidward?! YOUNGER PATRICK: Yeah! Yeah! Potatoes! HERB: That's my stupidly awesome son! Let's go! The two starfish walk right next door to a blue Eastern Island Head house. The door however is in the form of a smile compared to the frown it is today. Herb knocks. The recipient is you guessed it, Squidward Tentacles. However he is dressed in more formal type clothing and he has a full head of brown hair. Despite the happier looking situation, Squidward still harbors annoyance, but not to the magnitude it would become. SQUIDWARD WITH HAIR: What do you two dopes want? HERB: My son & I wanted to see you Squid! YOUNGER PATRICK: I have a scooter! PATRICK: See! Spongebob rolls his eyes. HERB: So can you honor my son's wish to visit you? Especially since I need to pay a quick visit to a four-hour card game! SQUIDWARD WITH HAIR: Well I could. YOUNGER PATRICK: Yay! SQUIDWARD WITH HAIR: But I got more important things to do. And I don’t fancy hanging out with lower class gutter rats like you! So, sorry. Squidward slams the door in their face. HERB: I see Squidward is about normal right now. YOUNGER PATRICK: I want to hang out with Uncle Squiddy! HERB: I know son. It is an opportunity nobody can pass up! I’ll get you into his house! I am a rocket scientist after all! PATRICK: My Dad wasn’t kidding! He really did build rockets! SPONGEBOB: Wow, I never knew that! Herb straps his 8-year-old son to a blue rocket he had just built. YOUNGER PATRICK: Are you sure this is safe Mommy? HERB: Uh son, I’m your Dad. YOUNGER PATRICK: But I thought you were my Grandma? HERB: Anyways, yes! This blue rocket is very safe! It was built from the finest starfish around! YOUNGER PATRICK: Okay HERB: Now, brace for impact! You are going to launch from an explosion right through Squidward's window! YOUNGER PATRICK: Wait what?! The rocket explodes and launches a screaming young Patrick right through Squidward's window. PATRICK: That was one powerful rocket. It torn my trunks off! SPONGEBOB: Yikes PATRICK: Yep, yikes indeed. The smoke clears and a young Patrick comes out of the rubble caused by the rocket. Squidward rushes down his staircase shocked. SQUIDWARD WITH HAIR: Patrick?! What are you doing?! And put some clothes on! Younger Patrick puts some backup trunks on. YOUNGER PATRICK: I wanted to see you Squiddy! See your amazing clothes! Your awesome persona! Your…. oops! Patrick accidentally knocks a chemical off a table that launches into Squidward's hair. SQUIDWARD WITH HAIR: MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!! Squidward rushes upstairs while younger Patrick looks confused. YOUNGER PATRICK: But aren’t cookies beautiful though? In the upstairs bathroom, Squidward desperately tries to wash the chemicals off of his hairline. But it is too late, the last of his hair burns off. One strand mocks & makes fun of him before disappearing. Squidward breaks down in complete and utter misery. He then screams in anger, grabs a clothesline from his bedroom and is going to beat the ever so living snot out of the child for causing this. SQUIDWARD NOW BALD: Now you’re done you menace! Before Squidward could clobber child Patrick. Herb opens the front door smacking Squidward in the face and knocking him down to the ground dazed. YOUNGER PATRICK: Daddy! Daddy! HERB: How was Uncle Squiddy my little boy? YOUNGER PATRICK: He lost his hair! HERB: Well that is um… unfortunate. YOUNGER PATRICK: Yeah….. hey! Can we go get some oreo ice cream?! HERB: Yeah! I love oreos! Herb piggybacks his son all the way to the ice cream parlor. Squidward finally gets the wind knocked back into him. He watches father & son walking off. Squidward snaps his clothesline in half and screams.. SQUIDWARD NOW BALD: I HATE NEIGHBORS!!! Squidward then hits his butt on the floor after slipping on a discarded ice cube. His anger only further increases. PATRICK: The End! SPONGEBOB: That was an amazing story! Squidward was quite an amazing man even before I moved into the neighborhood! PATRICK: That he was my friend.. that he was! They then hear a knock at the door. Spongebob answers. It is Squidward & Gary. SQUIDWARD: I thought I told you to keep your disgusting slug out of my eggplant yard! SPONGEBOB: Come on Gary! I’ll go feed you organic health food! GARY: Bleh! Patrick & Squidward remain at the rock. PATRICK: Guess what Squidward?! I remembered the time when I was 8 years old and I had accidentally burned all of your hair off with a chemical you had which I don’t know why you did! But oh well! SQUIDWARD (reminded) : That was not an accident you conehead! PATRICK: Well Dads be Dads right? Mine is a rocket scientist after all! I got a ticket to watch a launch! Squidward takes and examines Patrick's ticket. SQUIDWARD: So you get a ticket for your stupid Dad's stupid rocket and I can never have a hairpiece ever again?! PATRICK: Yeah pretty much! Squidward screams with anger and heads into the street to throw it into a sewer drain. PATRICK: Squidward don’t! SQUIDWARD: Time for my revenge! Squidward then hears a honk and turns to see a bus headed right for him. Squidward gets hit and is sent flying and screaming. The ticket floats back down into Patrick's palm. PATRICK: Phew that was close! Right Gary? Patrick then looks shockingly at Spongebob, who is devouring Squidward's eggplants. SPONGEBOB: Gary is right! These are good! Category:SquidwardTentacles35